Poor Rich Kids

Lifestyle #3: Rice & Beans

Posted in Lifestyle Advice by thepoors on February 9, 2009

Rice and beans is an ancient trick we poor rich kids learned from poor poor people. This is a time-tested recipe to feed yourself for a week for $3-$5.

mex-rice-and-beans

Ingredients:

1/2 that old, half-onion in your butter drawer.

1 can goya black beans.

2 whole carrots (1 for eating while you cook because you skipped lunch, and are feeling faint).

1 cup dry rice.

1 of your roommate’s bay leaves.

2 tblespoons of your roommate’s olive oil.

1 spoonful of leftover tomato paste (that you filched from your parents’ cabinet).

Heat oil in skillet. Dice up old onion, put half into the skillet and saute until clear. Add dry rice and bay leaves. Toast on high, then add two cups water and cover. Saute remaining half onion, add carrots, diced, and cook until tender. Open can of black beans, wash off, and add to the mix with tomato paste and a dash of roommate’s salt. When the rice is done, combine the rice with the beans into one pan and cook a little longer till some, but not all, of the rice starts to get crispy. Eat this for a week. Enjoy as you stay at home.

If you’re feeling flush, buy 10 tortillas ($2). For burrito, take one piece of roommate’s cheese at a time so he/she doesn’t notice and place concoction inside toaster oven. For stir-fry, steal one of roommate’s hot dogs or slice of tofu and reheat with roommate’s olive oil in skillet. If bread is lying around, make a sandwich out of it and flavor with roommate’s hot sauce. If you don’t have a roommate to steal ingredients from, you are obviously not a poor rich kid, because how in the world can you afford to live by yourself.

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5 Responses

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  1. anonymous said, on February 9, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    You don’t cook vegetable until they’re tender. You only tenderize flesh.

  2. thepoors said, on February 9, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    HAHAHAHA THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BONNIE “PRINCE” BILLY LYRIC

  3. laurbelle2 said, on February 9, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    i smell a sasson.

  4. midwesternsplendor said, on March 2, 2009 at 3:31 am

    Another fantastic poor people food is homemade hash browns. Grate potato, mix with one egg and fry. MMmmmm….

  5. wesscoast said, on December 29, 2009 at 7:17 am

    oh my god! that was so funny! i almost died laughing. stealing everything from the roomate, LMAO.


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