Poor Rich Kids

Lifestyle Advice #6: Other People’s Property

Posted in Lifestyle Advice by thepoors on February 28, 2009


So the rich-rich are constantly saying things like “I just took a vacation.” What, to where? What are you talking about. While the Poor-Rich are often jealous of the JOBS held by their Jobby friends, it is really their leisure time that we’re after. This is why every Poor Rich Kid keeps a list of FRIENDS WITH LEISURE HOMES.

It is one of those open secrets that people with cool vacation houses have more friends. Why? Because in all reality a vacation house is only as good as the fascinating and, in the best case, envious guests you can fill it with “for the weekend” and, in the great biological scheme of symbiosis, a rich friend is only as good as the piteous scraps of luxury you can scrounge from their glorious and glamorous wake.

So Jason is sort of a dick and fingered your girlfriend TWICE in college. Who gives a shit, he has this sweet spread in VERMONT right on the slope.

So Leonora is way less pretty than she thinks and is always talking about her haircut? Big EFFING DEAL, her house in the Long Island is totally worth it. And you both know it.

If played right, every winter, spring, summer, and fall you too will be able to say shit like “I was just in the Hamptons.” But be careful, nothing in life is really free, so mind the hidden charges. These can be: “throwing down for groceries” which will always include stupid bullshit like kobe beef hamburger meat and “the good” mayonnaise, or the even more annoying “So my parents bought all these groceries do you think you guys can get the booze?” The list goes on so try to avoid the houses of someone who might just spring for a hand carved ice-luge and ask everyone to chip in!


4 Responses

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  1. laurbelle2 said, on February 21, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    thank god fergustuff hangs out with gems like us or else she’d never get the street cred she has today!

  2. FerguStuff said, on February 22, 2009 at 11:10 am

    consider yourselves all uninvited… all the best, an unemployed former supporter of porridge kids

  3. thepoors said, on February 22, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    cmon, baby. get back in the car.

  4. serfryydr said, on March 6, 2009 at 12:46 am

    i’m having a really hard time finding a winter house friend. suggestions?

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