Poor Rich Kids

Dating Tip #2: The PRK Guide to “The Pick-Up”

Posted in dating by thepoors on March 3, 2009


Scarface says, “First you get the drugs, then you get the money, then you get the woman.” While this is generally how it works, in these times you really don’t want to be depending on a game that requires SURPRISE trips to Dubai or diamond tennis bracelets “just because you’re looking so pretty today, honey.”

And you definitely don’t want to end up like the emasculated type-A exes of these ladies.

Now you might think: “This is all well and good once she ‘gets to know’ the real me, but what about the pick up? Isn’t that all roses and paying for drinks?” Fear not: we at PRK have developed a patented technology that will have her saying “what’s a birthday present” in no time.

First: never let on that you feel bad about being a broke, jobless, loser (mostly because you don’t). Here, just a touch of condescension is everything. Some hot-shot starts talking about how much he loves “making money” you come out blazing with some high-brow crap like “the intrinsic value of what you do” and ask this D-BAG squarely, and in FRONT OF EVERYBODY, if he feels like his job means anything. This works great especially if you have already put yourself on a PRK career path like “Graphic Design” or “Being a writer.” So you come out looking like an asshole, but then you pull her aside and whisper, “I just think we should all be making a difference” and she looks up all doe-eyed thinking to herself, “How lucky I am to be talking to such a magical SHAMAN of the new economy.” Game, set, match.


4 Responses

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  1. anonymous said, on March 4, 2009 at 10:13 am

    this is absolute death.

  2. Jake said, on March 5, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    This seems like good advice, though it may warrant some PRK d-bag fighting tips.

  3. […] you charmed the shit out of some jobby’s girlfriend with your avant attitude and that worldly glisten in your eye, and now she wants to “hang out.” […]

  4. SK said, on June 5, 2010 at 8:16 pm

    Agrees the fighting tips would come in handy.

    Good blog.

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