Dear Unemployed Friend Presents: Back in the Saddle

When a PRK decides it’s time to buck up and get back to the workplace, conflicting emotions can arise. Thoughts may be troubled. Situations may be sticky. And I don’t even mean that nasty freight elevator that you take up the shared office space where your new Craigslist-found job is housed. As an Employed Ally of PRK, I thought it would behoove me to share some insights with you regarding those those first few weeks back as a cog in the good ole fashioned working wheel of America.

Disclaimer: I am 4 months back in action and still frequently harbor these thoughts.

1. While in bathroom (your 4th bathroom break of the day, just to avoid hyperventilating at your cubicle): Should I take some of these extra toilet paper rolls home with me?

2. In aforementioned claustrophobic/chinese food reeking cubicle: Free staples, too?!

3. While in cafeteria with your new work “friends”: FREE FORKS & KNIVES?? HOLY SHIT WORKING IS AWESOME!!!

4. After your 4th meeting of the day to discuss “brand initiatives”: so wait, trolling facebook and gmail for 45 minutes isn’t considered graphic design work? How else am I supposed to get inspired and free up brain space?

5. FREE LONG DISTANCE CALLING!?!?

6. Do you think I can get high from all of this white-out?

7. What’s up with Karl’s BO?

8. I wonder if Karl has a girlfriend?  Is he wearing a wedding ring or is that bro-riffic tribal jewelry?

8. Do unicorns really exist?

9. What does “brand initiative” mean?

You get the idea, my aspiringly industrious friends.  Work is hard work.  It’s confusing.  It’s larceny-inducing.  I wish you good luck.