Poor Rich Kids

News Roundup #4: In Which the Times Confuses Poor Rich Kids with Rich-Rich Kids

Posted in In the News by thepoors on June 12, 2009

08trustafarian1.spanIt’s been awhile since our last post, we know. We’d like you to think it’s because we got so poor we could no longer afford Internet, but clearly we’d never let that happen. The truth is, we really had a handle on the zeitgeist – so much so that there’s not much left to write, what with the New York Times devoting thousands of words every day to the plight of people like us.


In this fine piece of journalism, the Times informs us that the KIDZ in Williamsburg are having a tough time of it.

Famed for its concentration of heavily subsidized 20-something residents — also nicknamed trust-funders or trustafarians — Williamsburg is showing signs of trouble. Parents whose money helped fuel one of the city’s most radical gentrifications in recent years have stopped buying their children new luxury condos, subsidizing rents and providing cash to spend at Bedford Avenue’s boutiques and coffee houses.

And then there’s the story of the 26-year-old construction worker.

Eric Gross, 26, a construction worker, was going to buy, with help from his father, a $600,000 one-bedroom condo with city views at Northside Piers, a luxury building, he said. But his father, who works in the auto industry, said he had to reduce his contribution. “He’s pulling back the lifeline,” Mr. Gross said.

Okay, this a real what-the-fuck moment. WHAT KIND OF 26-year-old CONSTRUCTION WORKER IS BUYING A MOTHERFUCKING CONDO IN A LUXURY BUILDING IN THE BURG? Doesn’t he know that he should be writing a novel or doing some graphic design or going to grad school? Oh wait, he’s a construction worker because he’s DOING RESEARCH for his future NOVEL ABOUT CONSTRUCTION WORKERS WHO LIVE IN PENTHOUSES.

Now that the Times has adequately covered the real estate travails of rich-rich kids, let’s move on to SARTORIAL PURSUITS, aka, you’ll never guess who’s shopping at Goodwill!

GRACE BELLO clutched her prize to her chest. “This Marc Jacobs dress is making my day — I need it,” she said. At that moment, Jim DePaolis, a sales associate, raced toward her with a Diane Von Furstenberg frock in one hand and a black cocktail dress in the other…A style-struck pair, Ms. Bello, a writer, and Mr. DePaolis, who has worked for Banana Republic, might have been haunting some Manhattan citadel of chic — Jeffrey in the meatpacking district or Barneys on Madison Avenue. In fact they were in Chelsea, spelunking for treasures at the Goodwill store on West 25th Street.

So do these “chic,” “style-struck” people have jobs? Of course not! They’re unemployed, er, FUNemployed!

Buoyed by severance, savings, unemployment checks or their parents, the funemployed do not spend their days poring over job listings. They travel on the cheap for weeks. They head back to school or volunteer at the neighborhood soup kitchen. And at least till the bank account dries up, they’re content living for today.

“Living for today.” We call bullshit. These kids have no idea what they’re getting into.


One Response

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  1. anonymous said, on June 18, 2009 at 2:23 am

    no content here. pure death.

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