Valentine’s Dating Tip #1: Museums

Two words: Suggested donation. Many of the great museums are essentially free, but suggest that you donate $30 or whatever to get in. The way this works is that a) tourists don’t speak English and are carrying around zillions of euros anyway, so THEY pay b) jobbys hate money-based shame, and will pay just to avoid that awkward moment when the cash register rings up the price and the cashier looks down at the two pathetic nickels lying on the counter. But we say, fuck that. Fair is fair, and free is free: we have taken note of your suggestion, Museum, and have respectfully gone in another direction.

How to handle it: Get there early, and pay for the museum badges first. This way, your date is none the wiser that you spent only ten hard-earned cents PLUS it looks like you paid for everything PLUS you are a gentleman/lady for being on time. Also, try to find a specific museum piece you want to show them, so it looks like you have a plan. Dates love it when you have a plan. Avoid talking too much, but remember that a few, well-timed / incisive comments on the artwork can go a long way in saying, i know a thing or too, but dont worry, im not full of myself.